In all my years of fantasizing about my perfect poly dynamic, not once did I consider the fact that being poly also means having many more relationships that end.

It means along with the pleasure, I’ll also be enduring extra sadness. These extra relationships will end, and just because I’m partnered up with someone will not make those endings any less painful. It will still be the death of a dynamic. Pulling the plug on wild chemistry between me and another.

I can’t skip the burial. There must be death before renewed hope. I will exist in a cycle of being alone, being alone together, and being alone together with another. What a gift, these fleeting connections. The thought doesn’t frighten me, it excites me. I’ll have more joy and more sorrow to pull from, and that’s alright.