Tonight, as I walked my dog
I stood for a moment and took
a puff of my vape
then tilted my head back
to see the smoke rise

I saw the stars tonight
from the pavement
of our overly-lit city

where I spend so much time
looking down, doubting myself
looking back, denying myself
looking away, hiding myself.

I need to look up more
I need to lay down & look

I wonder where the best
places in the world are
for stargazing, the darkest,
& when can I go?

Funny, I’ve long been waging
war on my darkness, my shadow
Yet now that I’m prioritizing
embodiment & acceptance,
a place full of darkness
is exactly what I crave.

Maybe my darkness is
also speckled with stars.
Maybe they too will shine
bright in the right context.