Dating and being with people confuses me sometimes. Maybe I was just confused because there wasn’t a good connection. Yeah, that, that’s it. That’s why I found myself locked in a cage so I could get away from my date.
I don’t mind being desired, but it’s unsettling when all I see is someone’s desire. I want to feel desired, sure, but that’s not all I want. Your desire for me can’t be the thing that takes up the most space in the room. Where’s the fun in that? The wonder, the mystery, the intrigue?
So this is the situation I found myself in recently, a date void of fun, wonder, mystery, or intrigue. The man agreed with everything I said, so trying to get to know him was comical. Part of me wanted to leave, but a bigger part of me knew this would make a great story, so I did it for the blog.
We went for drinks downtown and decided to walk around a bit since the first place was too loud to hear each other talk. And also because I didn’t want him to try to kiss me while sitting on the same side of the dang booth and staring at me all dazed (I think he was already drinking before meeting up with me) and creepy.
So we’re walking around and there’s a line with a bunch of goth looking people. I was intrigued, so I suggested we stop and check it out. The guy in front of us had a face mask on the back of his neck that was kinda spooky. I was wearing a blue dress with black heels, red lipstick. Brian was wearing a blue button up and maybe black pants, I can barely remember.
The goth place was an experience. Very big, almost like a castle, dark, dungeon-esque, but in a chill way. You could lounge downstairs with tea and play games. Upstairs was more exciting. It was darker with glow lights and EDM and, to my surprise, little kink stations set up around the gigantic room. There were multiple bars upstairs as well. Brian offered to get me a drink, but I declined. I had to drive home and I didn’t trust this guy to not slip something in my cup. Such is the state of affairs for women, such is the shit we must expect and deflect.
So I was walking around checking stuff out with Brian and he got a bit handsy. I wouldn’t mind if he grabbed my hand or something, but he was like trying to hold me while we walk? And also trying to move his hands down to my lower back and even lower over my ass. I intercepted the hand and shook my head at him.
By the conversation alone, I knew I didn’t want this guy romantically, but I wasn’t ready to go home. I hadn’t been out in a while and it was fun to explore the castle. So I decided that if he got creepy I’d just ditch him in there.
So fast forward to us standing in front of the stage chatting. He goes behind me again, grabbing and like weirdly pressing his body into me. I turn to face him, clearly creating distance enough to evade his touch.
He doesn’t take the hint and all I see is his face coming at me, this face I’m unfamiliar with, this face whose eyes look at me like I’m a fleshlight. I ducked the kiss and said, “Hey, I’m gonna go onstage for a bit.”
A guy with a flogger helped me onto the stage and then he asked what I wanted to do. “I wanna dance in the cage,” I told him.
It’s something I’ve fantasized about doing, though in my fantasies, the cage is a lot higher, like an elevated cage, and I’m dancing over the room of people. Also in my fantasy I’m doing this in black. Maybe a strappy bra, fishnets, some short leather shorts, and knee high boots… yes I’ve given it some thought.
So anyway, I get into the cage in my little blue dress and start moving to the beat. Brian was standing not directly in front of me, but off to the side, questioning himself. Now and then I’d glance over to him and he would not meet my eyes. Hahah, def can’t ever fuck you now, I laughed to myself.
There was a couple on stage – two femmes. They watched me dance in the cage and danced with me from outside. They were also all over each other. My slender fingers gripped the rails as I admired their chemistry. They looked so in love. I loved seeing that.
I went between admiring their immaculate chemistry and watching the guy with the flogger working multiple beautiful behinds. My favorite was this one girl in a plaid skirt. Every time he smacked her, the skirt would lift a little, exposing more of her reddening skin.
I’m not gonna lie to you, it really turned me on. She made being flogged look so sexy that I decided to close out the evening by experiencing it for myself.