Self Driving Human

Author’s Note——I left my old position around this time last year, so I wanted to do a little update here. I’ve also re-published the original “I quit” story which I’d previously deleted for whatever reason.  

5 July

I had a good cry this morning and it was better than an orgasm. It’s funny how the body needs different sorts of release. I did have a massive headache after probably from being dehydrated though. So annoying. I hate those cries that dry you out. Anway, today I found some presidential dresses and heels I’ll probably regret buying, and also some flats. I’ll be going to work in my hot girl heels and if I last 1-3 hours in them, fantastic, but I’ll have some flats with me as well to switch into.

When I left job last year, I had all these things in mind of what to do with my free time. I wanted to write, travel, reconnect with friends and family, and come up with a masterplan for my next chapter in life. I also promised myself a shopping spree. I wanted to get more cute clothes that match my personality and get rid of all the clothes I have but seldom wear. Well, it’s July 5 now and I’ve finally gotten around to shopping, but most of the stuff I’ve found makes me look like I work in congress. I kinda love it to be honest with you. But the more covered up I am in my work clothes, the greater my desire to dress down and show a little skin on the interwebs. Maybe this new job will bring new creative expression. I’m so grateful and excited for what’s to come.

23 July

Wow, I’ve barely had time to scratch my ass, let alone write this post! There aren’t enough hours in the day anymore.

I had no idea what I wanted to do when I left my old job. I thought the free time would be great for figuring it out, but still I was indecisive. I considered real estate, accounting, clinical sexology, and of course, comedy writing.

It got annoying answering questions about what I was doing. People aren’t satisfied with hearing, “I don’t know.” I’d rather say that than lie to you, but sometimes it’s better to lie. Like when you see someone you haven’t seen since you were 10 and they ask if you remember them.

Anyway, when I left my old job I didn’t know what I wanted to do. And after being out of work for a time I had like 10 different career paths I was considering.

I didn’t have one singular vision, but I knew I wanted to be around more women. I knew I wanted to dress up and feel important. I knew I wanted to do work that had massive impact. I was willing to take a pay cut, I was willing to start over and be a green pea again. I was willing to learn and test out new paths. That’s who I’ve always been—someone willing to take on a challenge.

This year I learned so much about what I could do, things that I didn’t even know were possible. Things I didn’t even know I wanted. I adore those surprises—when I master something that I didn’t even know was a thing a short time ago.

Well I’m working in an industry now that I didn’t give much thought to before. I didn’t have any real knowledge or understanding of it, so the past six weeks have been bootcamp for my brain. I’ve been totally consumed by this and I’m taking quite naturally to it.

My vision of the work I wanted to do has been actualized. You see, I was never specific about the work, I was specific about the environment. And now here I am walking around in my navy blue congresswoman dress with nude pumps that elongate my legs and make me look naked. I’m exactly where I want to be. And I’m making this note to remind myself not to stress about not having all the details to a thing. I can dream myself into any future, I can cultivate the conditions without the exact coordinates.

24 July
10:51 am

Without being consciously aware of it, I’ve dreamed myself into an ideal reality. Once I’m fully trained and a master of my craft, I can stop coming into the office all together. I can work from home, or better yet, work from anywhere in the world. There’s a couple now who work from Greece. The guy who interviewed me lived in Costa Rica for over a year while still working. And there are people who work out of their vans while traveling.

Possibilities are possible.

702 pm
I could literally be getting fingerbanged in Berlin by night and handling business during the day!

Related Posts


3 thoughts on “Self Driving Human

Leave a Reply