Good Luck Daisy

March 14, 2023.Reading time 1 minute.

I normally don’t buy daisies on purpose because they remind me of an ex best friend who wore a good-luck daisy clip in her hair.

Things

February 25, 2023.Reading time less than 1 minute.

Things that brought me joy this week

Ascension

January 6, 2023.Reading time 4 minutes.

I’ve met myself among the moon and the stars, perhaps catapulted here by one of those stick and rubber band slingshots younger me used to make.

A Year in Rope

December 27, 2022.Reading time 4 minutes.

At the beginning of 2022, I was in a bad way. It became impossible to avoid certain truths as my body refused to be numb any longer. Suddenly, I was drowning in emotions—grief, shame, remorse, plus my usual dose of melancholy.

Idol Worship

December 24, 2022.Reading time 4 minutes.

Truth be told, the first time I saw Eartha Kitt, she kind of scared me. Well, not Eartha herself, but the character she played in Boomerang—that purring old lady, it really spooked me as a kid.

Familiarity or Fantasy, 2

October 7, 2022.Reading time 2 minutes.

It’s been about six weeks since I quit my job and I don’t regret it, however, living out my fantasy is a bit different to what I expected.

Certain Hungers

March 9, 2022.Reading time 2 minutes.

I’m chained to certain hungers, though some are still without names. Without specificity. I crave a certain texture, a sensation, or place. I can’t pinpoint it, which torments me slightly, but excites me still.

Write

February 20, 2022.Reading time less than 1 minute.

I’m out of touch.

I’ll Free Myself with Melody Instead of Verse

January 13, 2022.Reading time 1 minute.

The saxophone intrigues me.

Witness Me Tenderly

January 11, 2022.Reading time 3 minutes.

I’m feeling waves of heavy emotions today. It’s day 3 of my period and I am struggling. I am immensely sad. I feel exhausted. I have no appetite. I forced myself to eat oatmeal this morning. Half a cup and it took me over an hour.

Glimpse of Light

March 28, 2021.Reading time 1 minute.

Anhedonia has been a constant companion for the past 6 weeks. Today, for the first time in over a month, I was able to set foot in the gym, shut my mind off, and be in my body.

Two Dark Places

February 20, 2021.Reading time less than 1 minute.

The two dark places I inhabit force me to take inventory of my thoughts and feelings. Sitting with the darkness, I realize it enriches me. For so long I’ve tried to outrun it. Now I aim to embody it completely. No longer avoiding the pain. I don’t just endure it, I embrace it. It doesn’t frighten me, the darkness. I’m drunk from the ropes that bind me. I accept endings, knots, and twists. I picture new possibilities as I reason with my darkest desires and sense a more enriching life beyond them. I let my thoughts run freely and I’m freer for it.

Staggered Desires

Category: life