The thing about emotions is when you’re in the depths of one is when you’re most capable of experiencing others.

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Dance, Dance

I like that feeling in my belly, when I really want to dance. Like walking on the sidewalk and a good tune comes on or when I’m in the gym and I just can’t help bobbing and moving, gyrating, not even walking but holding back my moves as I walk-dance across the floor.

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Witness Me Tenderly

I’m feeling waves of heavy emotions today. It’s day 3 of my period and I am struggling. I am immensely sad. I feel exhausted. I have no appetite. I forced myself to eat oatmeal this morning. Half a cup and it took me over an hour.

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Glimpse of Light

Anhedonia has been a constant companion for the past 6 weeks. Today, for the first time in over a month, I was able to set foot in the gym, shut my mind off, and be in my body.

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Who Taught You?

In my younger years desire would call out to me. And I, a puppy greyhound, could not turn away from the pull. I would touch myself in ways that felt good instinctively. No one taught me to do it, I just stumbled upon my bliss. I remember bringing myself close to orgasm and stopping before going over the edge. Back then it seemed too powerful, too all-consuming. So edging was my jam.

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What’s Next?

Having attended a play party that gave me a peek into the lifestyle I’ve hungered for, yesterday I found myself wondering what’s next? Read More

Round & Rising

I look at myself without recognition. 
Is this what I should be happy with now?
I’ve grown so much I feel less desirable,
yet I’m as miserable as I’ve always been. Read More


will my sins never leave me?
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It’s been a while since I’ve had lube by my bedside.

It’s been a while since I’ve felt that fire inside.

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